You know that you're addicted to NCIS when...
1. You have seen every episode several times and still never get tired of it.
2. You will yell if someone tries bothers you on Tuesday night when you are watching a new episode of NCIS.
3. You find yourself Gibbs slapping people. (Or yourself)
4. You have had a dream about it or involving one of the characters.
5. You daze out while sitting at your desk and imagine yourself running alongside Tony and Ziva with your gun drawn yelling, "Federal agents! Drop your weapon!"
6. You watch the movies that Tony has mentioned. As many as humanly possible that is.
7. You wish USA would put more than just three episodes a night on.
8. You have started using military references. Hit the head, scuttle butt, hit the rack, etc.
9. The majority of television you watch is of NCIS.
10. You smell something funny or hear a beeping sound and your mind goes to a chemical attack or a bomb.
11. You call people Probie and use McNicknames.
12. Your dog goes missing and you say to, "Put out a BOLO."
13. You try and convince every person you meet to watch it.
14. You use the term Hinky.
15. When anyone says your obsessed, you reply starts "Yeah, Gibbs would say that."
16. You have hooked your family and friends as well
17. On Tuesday, your friends ask and answer the question, "What are you doing tonight? Oh wait, it’s a Tuesday, never mind."
18. You make it a point to drink coffee black
19. You attempt to dress up as one of the characters on Halloween
20. You reference NCIS in your homework
21. When your friend can’t remember where he/she parked, you say "Put a BOLO out."
"You Know You're OBSESSED with NCIS when.."

You sing the song Tony sings when he goes undercover

You cry when Jenny dies

You cried on Judgment Day & kept crying even after Jenny died & you sat @ the TV screaming & yelling & cussing

You cry when Kate dies but in your head you say "yes, TIVA!"

You keep waiting for the return of Jenny so there can be JIBBS

You keep thinking "this is the eppy where Tony and Ziva get together.. but it never happens and you think "maybe next week"

You have Tuesday @ 8:00 checked off on your TV, circled on your calendar, & written on your hand

When you write under a photo description of facebook "i can come up with 200 ways to kill you with this spoon" when you're holding up a spoon with your BFF next to you

When you can come up with 200 ways to kill someone with a paperclip & spoon

When "it's kinda fun" is your catch phrase

When all your friends said they 'hated' NCIS.. a day later "OMG! NCIS is SOO GUD!!" your work here is done


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10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL

10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks

9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies

8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly

7. Our magazines have horiscopes

6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around

5. Our friends don't say "hi" by punching us in the arm

4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month

3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have

2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket

1. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing


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Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

Friend: Will help me learn to drive
Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away
Best Friend: Won't let me go away

Friend: Will help me up when I fall down
Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me

Friend: Will bail me out of jail
Best Friend: Will give me up to the police for his freedom

Friend: Will go to a concert with me
Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me

Friend: Asks me for my number
Best friend: Asks me for his number

Friend: Hides me from the cops
Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place

Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public
Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

Friends: Fade
Best Friends: Are FOREVER...
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You know you live in 2009 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or myspace

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

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female come backs
pick up line comebacks

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing

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Dumb labeling on products

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)